The Inexperienced Human
The behaviour of the inexperienced human truly is a marvel to behold. It is only moments after being welcomed into this exciting world of ours that the inexperienced human deems himself ready to hunt his first prey. Anxious to shed blood, the inexperienced human completely abandons all semblance of common sense and immediately goes rushing towards the sewers below our little village, intending to slay some of the rodents residing there. “Those puny rats... ha!” the inexperienced human scoffs. “What chance could such tiny creatures possibly stand against a handsome and able-bodied fellow such as myself?” Little does the inexperienced human know what awaits him on the other side of that sewer grate, however, and it is not long before it becomes abundantly clear that the first of his many follies was that of not bringing a torch to illuminate the path before him. Lacking the intelligence to understand when to retreat, the inexperienced human instead starts feeling his way deeper and deeper into the pitch-black cave until eventually stumbling upon a crossroads of sorts. “In which direction shall I head now?” the inexperienced human asks himself indecisively, but oh no, what's that? Have the rats which the inexperienced human was so eager to find cruelly taken advantage of his minor act of hesitation by cornering him? It would appear so, dear readers, and now consider closely the inexperienced human's reaction. Trapped and struggling to land satisfactory blows on his hairy enemies, the inexperienced human's first instinct is to accuse his weapon of conspiring against him. His second, after realising that his relentless opponents are inflicting considerable damage on his ankles, is to descend into utter despair. “Whatever have I done to deserve this grim fate?” the inexperienced human cries out to our benevolent gods. Wallowing in self-pity and drained of all willpower, the inexperienced human ultimately yields to his adversaries with a broken spirit. Death being inevitable by this point, I am never surprised to see members of this foolish species appear beside me once again.
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