Notes
This book has no notes.
... The unrest is growing. Now that I can see possible progress at all fronts, they want to abandon me? The traitorous scum is doing IT's will without knowing it. Or do they know? I need time. I need to forge the crawlers into the weapons that we need. They will have to purge the world. Without anything that could know about IT, IT will lose its grasp on the world and the world will be free of IT's influence once and for all. It was our fault to have lured IT here and it will be our glory to defeat IT! Sacrifice is necessary, that is how the world works. Sacrifice. I will have to stop them from leaving, somehow. Yes, this is my task.... What have I done? The sabotage of the ship went horribly wrong. Instead of not working at all, the ship left the isle. I was desperate when I found out that my tinkering with the engine had not worked as planned, but I was horrified as the ship exploded shortly after it left. There were no survivors. But I had no choice. They forced me to do it. It was their fault, not mine. It is IT's fault. I will have my revenge. I will avenge those who died today! I will continue with the experiments. ... Only two others decided to stay here with me to continue the experiments. But I think they are suspicious now after the accident. I will have to be very careful. The ghosts have returned in the night, now joined by those who died on the ship. They are accusing me, mocking me. I must continue, though. I must succeed or everything was in vain. ... The experiments with the creatures have become more random, less planned. The others stick to the original plans, but with the lack of resources, I have to take chances. Perhaps we will randomly get an advance that would have cost us years of planed breeding. Experiments we see as failures are released into the wilderness. Hopefully this will keep the fishmen away. ... We are short of food. I will have to rely on eating dead experiments. ... Rehus was attacked and killed by one of his experiments today. My only concern upon learning this was that he might join the ghosts that haunt me. The captured fishmen seems to be mocking me, too. I know what he is thinking. He thinks that my experiments will fail, that I have been unsuitable to lead such an expedition at all. He seems motionless and untouched when I yell at him, but I know he is snickering when I leave. ... Failure after failure. ... No one here to take care of the machines. No one here.
... Tired. So tired. No idea what Hiona is doing. We rarely speak. I wish she had left with the others. No word from Yalahar. The others. They are dead, aren't they? Something with the ship.