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My memoires as dictated by the First Dragon:
When I arrived in the lands of the scaleless, I already had a life of adventures and excitement behind me and so I was looking for a cosy play to stay. Eventually I found a little cave that had just the right size to serve as a small but decent hoard. Also the cave's acoustic would enhance the screams of my victims in a most pleasing way. Young dragons usually prefer a volcanic and hot environment. At my age, however, the heat is relatively harmful for my scales and the sulphuric fumes may lead to spontaneous stomach combustions. The new cave, though, had all the gloom and dankness an old dragon could wish for. Despite the cave's closeness to one of the few human towns that awakened in these days, the younger dragons had passed on because the town lacked a princess who could be kidnapped for amusement. Since I had no nerves for weeping, screaming and sad love stories anyway, the cave was the perfect choice for me, and quite a bargain, I might add.
Being a good neighbour, I refrained from burning and plundering the city. However, anyone who entered my lair was fair game of course. Oh and they came! At first there were only a few. The first ones were some farmers looking for a lost chicken. What an irony - they tasted just the same. In my eagerness for a meal I have to admit I behaved like some newt. I had completely forgotten about my manners and let no one escape. Of course that way no one could spread the word and so it took a while until the next humans stumbled into my realm. Soon a healthy ritual established in which I pretended they had some chance to slay me - then I ate them, occasionally letting escape one.
Whenever I recognised the flow of adventurers was waning, I invented a new vulnerability to give them some hope. In the years to come I pretended all kinds of things, something amusing like not being able to see through their laughable invisibility spells, something more desperate like pretending to be afraid of flowers or parcels, up to the absurd like acting that I was unable to walk through fire. My human admirers believed it all. They were all great sports and tasted quite well. The surprise on the face of those invisible sorcerers when I finally turned towards them to roast them for dinner - just priceless. You must have been there to fully appreciate it.
However, too much tin food, like we call those armour-clad humans, is not very healthy for a dragon in the long run. Yes, it's temptingly delicious and easily prepared but molten cheap metal does not go well with stomach acid. Moreover, we all know that one gets fat while being on a human diet.
And fat I got and the stomach problems started. Also my hoard had grown so much that it did not fit into my humble lair anymore. Moreover, all the fights had lost their fun and turned into a tedious chore. So I made up my mind and started looking for a retirement home. A former pal of mine hinted me at an affordable island cave - that was just the place I was looking for.
I felt bad for my humans, though. Whom should they feed all those pesky heroes to when I was gone? So I asked a dragon clan to move into my cave when I was gone. Only later I learnt that they did a very lousy job. One by one they got killed. Well, the damage was done and it did not really bother me much.
Since then I've been living a life in peace on a strict no-human diet and I feel healthy and energetic to last for several more centuries.

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