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Mace of the Fury[]

Player: sell
Bozo: Sell? Hmm, I know a little about magic and by chance I can sell you a truly unusual weapon.
Player: weapon
Bozo: Do you want to buy a 'mace of the fury' for 250 gold?
Player: yes
Bozo: And here it is, it suits you well!

Bozo
You see a rolling pin.
It weighs 5.00 oz.

Pay your Taxes[]

Player: job
Bozo: I am the royal jes ... uhm ... the royal tax-collector! Do you want to pay your taxes?
Player: yes (if you have money he takes 50 gp)
Bozo: Thank you very much. I will have a drink or two on your health!
Player: yes (if you don't have money)
Bozo: Come back, when you have enough money.

Bozo

New "Spell"[]

Player: magic
Bozo: I actually know some spells! Do you want to learn how to 'lessen your load' for 200 gold?
Player: yes
Bozo: Here you are, I've already lessened your load.

Bozo

Jester's Guild[]

Before Christmas Update 2007[]

Player: jester
Bozo: Do you wish to join the fools' guild?
Player: yes
Bozo: Sorry, you already are a member.

Bozo
After Christmas Update 2007[]

Player: jester
Bozo: Do you wish to become a jester and join the fools guild?
Player: yes
Bozo: So you want to make a total fool of yourself? Fine with me, but note that becoming a real fool means more than being just an ordinary fool ...
Bozo: Bozo: You will have to master a whole series of challenging, lengthy and, above all, totally foolish quests ...
Bozo: Are you sure you want to waste a part of your limited lifetime on a quest that makes a fool of yourself and which might award you with the prestigious title of a grand fool in a far away future? Player: yes
Bozo: What a foolish decision! You are indeed a worthy candidate! But let's talk about business ...
Bozo: Being a jester is not just about telling jokes. A good jester heavily relies on requisites ...
Bozo: Getting some requisites will be your first job. First of all we need a good supply of water squirt flowers ...
Bozo: I'm making them on my own in my spare time but I need the right material. South of Thais, next to the Whiteflower Temple, you will find the ideal flowers ...
Bozo: Take a kitchen knife, cut the thickest and healthiest flower and bring it here. Then talk to me about your mission.
Player: jester (if you are already a jester)
Bozo: Wow, your stupidity would be pride and joy for every fool. You've already applied as a member. Let's rather talk about your current mission.

Bozo

Jokes about Vocations[]

Player: druid
Bozo: If you are in Druidville, do as the rabbits do.
Player: knight
Bozo: Did you notice that old knights have their scars just on their backs?
Player: paladin
Bozo: They are the king's favourites, because they know how to 'bow'.
Player: sorcerer
Bozo: The good thing about them is that they can't be at two places at the same time.
Player: your vocation here
Bozo: I wanted to become a your vocation here, too, but I was overqualified!

Bozo

Joke at Woman[]

If your character is female:

Player: hi
Bozo: Hello, hello, hello, little lady Player!
Player: lady
Bozo: Has any man said to you that you're not only beautiful but also intelligent?
Player: no
Bozo: Well, think about it!
Player: yes
Bozo: This is a world of fantasy and full of surprises!

If your character is male:
Player: hi
Bozo: Hi there, how's it hanging, Player!
Player: lady
Bozo: Well, you don't behave ladylike just because you dress like one!

Bozo

Jokes about Monsters[]

Player: beholder
Bozo: Why are beholders so ugly? ... Because their mom and dad were beholders, too!
Player: cyclops
Bozo: How many eyes does a cyclops have? ... One for each IQ point of their opponents!
Player: demon
Bozo: Why are the experienced heroes quicker than others? ... The demons love fast food!
Player: dog
Bozo: Are we talking about Noodles?
Player: dragon
Bozo: Why do dragons breathe fire? ... They ate too many sorcerers in chili sauce!
Player: minotaur
Bozo: What do all little minotaurs want to become when they are grown-ups? ... Cowboys, of course!
Player: orc
Bozo: Why do orcs have green skin? ... They ate at Frodo's!
Player: rat
Bozo: Why does the rat have a wooden leg? ... Because it is a former pirate!
Player: skeleton
Bozo: Why do skeletons flee if wounded? ... They are so spineless!
Player: spider
Bozo: Why did the spider cross the road? ... Because it ... oh you already know this one!?
Player: troll
Bozo: Why do trolls live underground? ... Because on the ground there are so many PKs!
Player: wolf
Bozo: Why do the wolves howl? ... Hey, if you're online that long you can't help but behave that way!

Bozo

Jokes about NPCs[]

Player: Benjamin
Bozo: He would make a fine jester, too.
Player: Elane
Bozo: She's pretty but has a kind of too burning affection for my taste.
Player: Marvik
Bozo: Humourless old guy! Once turned me into a frog for painting his distasteful cave in pink.
Player: Muriel
Bozo: Better don't mess with sorcerers!
Player: Noodles
Bozo: Hey, the little one is almost as funny as me!
Player: Oswald
Bozo: If you believe half the rumours he's spreading, you are going to get in a lot of trouble.
Player: Quentin
Bozo: He's my baby brother. If you tell him I sent you, he will grant you an extra spell or two.
Player: Sam
Bozo: Did you know that he now sells a 'power axe of doom'? Run and buy it, he has only three in store.
Player: Gorn
Bozo: He sells spell scrolls each day at midnight, but you have to address him that very second.
Player: Gregor
Bozo: A man of steel, with a stomach of wax. Never offer him a beer!

Bozo

Misc. Jokes[]

Player: Durin
Bozo: Isn't he the author of the book 'Fun with Demons'?
Player: Stephan
Bozo: He is kind of a father figure to me. Of course he denies all kinship to me.
Player: Steve
Bozo: He's a smart one. I heard he hid in a foreign country when the first bugs showed up.
Player: god
Bozo: I better make no jokes about THIS matter.
Player: king
Bozo: Nah, no jests about His Royal Highness.
Player: hugo
Bozo: I had a cousin named like that.
Player: cousin
Bozo: He died some years ago.
Player: guild
Bozo: Since the first guild showed up there's a great demand for jesters and fools to join them.
Player: name
Bozo: My name is Bozo. But it's more than a name, it's a lifestyle to me!
Player: bye
Bozo: Remember: A joke a day keeps the ghouls away!

Bozo
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